“Have you been deliberately waking Brenda?”
Diane froze.
That was enough.
Daniel stood.
“Mom?”
She looked at him.
I called the police.
“I can explain.”
“Then explain,” I said.
She opened her mouth.
Nothing came out.
I called the police.
Then, a few days later, I was rereading messages Diane had sent me.
Brenda was examined that morning. Thankfully, she was fine.
The police documented what we told them and explained that they would determine what, if anything, could be pursued further.
Diane went to stay with her sister.
I thought the nightmare was over.
Then, a few days later, I was rereading messages Diane had sent me.
Carol and her husband had experience raising children with additional needs.
For weeks, she’d been mentioning a distant relative named Carol.
Carol and her husband had experience raising children with additional needs.
At least, that was how Diane described them.
One message read:
I really think you should at least talk to Carol before things become too much.
I had assumed Diane wanted me to ask Carol for advice.
“Diane said you wanted to talk to us.”
Now the wording felt different.
I called Carol.
She sounded happy to hear from me.
Then confused.
“Diane said you wanted to talk to us.”
“Did she tell you why?”
“About Brenda?”
“Yes.”
There was a pause.
“Did she tell you why?”
“For advice.”
“She said you had experience.”
Carol went quiet.
“What?”
“She said you had experience.”
Another pause.
“That’s not what Diane asked me.”
My chest tightened.
“I didn’t think she meant Brenda at first.”
“What did she ask?”
Carol lowered her voice.
“She asked whether my husband and I would ever consider raising another child.”
I couldn’t speak.
Carol continued quickly.
“She said you and Daniel might eventually realize you couldn’t handle everything Brenda needed.”
“I didn’t think she meant Brenda at first. I thought she was asking hypothetically.”
“What changed?”
“She said you and Daniel might eventually realize you couldn’t handle everything Brenda needed. Then she asked what we’d do if that happened.”
I hung up shaking.
But she had already started planning for a future in which we gave up.
Diane hadn’t arranged anything.
But she had already started planning for a future in which we gave up.
That evening, Daniel called his mother.
“Come over.”
Diane arrived looking exhausted.
Her expression changed immediately.
I put my phone on the table.
“I spoke to Carol.”
Her expression changed immediately.
Daniel saw it.
“Mom, what did you do?”
“You were trying to give away our daughter?”
Diane sat down.
“I was trying to prepare options.”
“Options for what?”
“For when this became too much.”
I stared at her.
“You were trying to give away our daughter?”
“And then you started waking Brenda every night.”
“No.”
“You asked another family whether they’d raise her.”
“I asked a question.”
“And then you started waking Brenda every night.”
Diane’s voice rose.
“Because neither of you was being realistic!”
“You already have Ben. He had seven years with you.”
Daniel slammed his hand on the table.
“Realistic about what?”
“Your life!”
