He walked out.
Miles kept crying.
Luke grabbed the edge of my cast with both hands.
“You take care of them. That’s your job.”
I gently freed myself and whispered, “Okay. I’ve got you.”
I’ve got it. I’m fine.
I’d been saying both for too long.
***
My mom, Noelle, came over the next afternoon.
She found me wiping formula off the counter with my good hand while Luke kicked in his seat.
“Okay. I’ve got you.”
“Hope.”
“I’m almost done.”
She took the cloth from me.
“Sit.”
“Mom, it’s sticky.”
“It’ll still be sticky in five minutes.”
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“I’m almost done.”
I sat.
She found my tea in the microwave.
“You reheated this already?”
“Twice.”
Mom knew I cleaned when I was overwhelmed.
She made me a fresh cup.
“You reheated this already?”
“Where’s Derek?”
“Work.”
“And when he gets home?”
“He’ll be tired, of course.”
Mom gave me a look.
I took a sip.
“I’m fine.”
“He’ll be tired, of course.”
“There’s that voice you use when you’re lying to me, Hope.”
I looked away.
Mom didn’t lecture me. She just helped with the boys, washed bottles, made dinner, and left after we’d eaten.
***
That night, Miles woke first.
Then Luke followed with his loud cries.
I nudged Derek.
“There’s that voice you use when you’re lying to me, Hope.”
“Can you take Luke?”
He rolled onto his stomach.
“I have work.”
“So?”
“I have to be up in four hours.”
Luke’s crying grew louder.
“I have to be up in four hours.”
“So do I.”
“No, you don’t.”
I froze.
“What does that mean?”
“You can sleep when they sleep.”
I almost laughed.
Instead, I got up.
“What does that mean?”
Luke was still crying when Derek pulled the blanket over his shoulder.
***
Three nights later, Mom called.
“My car won’t start. I can’t make it over.”
I looked at the twins. Both badly needed a bath.
“It’s okay, Mom.”
“Don’t try bathing them alone.”
“My car won’t start. I can’t make it over.”
“I won’t.”
“Promise?”
“I’ll wait for Derek to get home. Promise.”
When he came home, I met him near the kitchen.
“I need you to bathe the boys tonight.”
He dropped his keys into the bowl.
“I need you to bathe the boys tonight.”
“I just walked in, Hope. Don’t you think you’re being a bit ridiculous right now?”
“I know.”
“Skip it.”
“They need one.”
“Use a washcloth and warm water. That’s what tired mothers do.”
“Don’t you think you’re being a bit ridiculous right now?”
“Derek.”
He sighed.
“I’ve been working all day.”
“So have I.”
He looked at me like I’d said something ridiculous.
“Why should I have to come home and take care of the kids too?”
“I’ve been working all day.”
I stopped.
“Too?”
“What?”
“You said ‘too.'”
“So?”
